Shattered
by Lynniebear27
Summary: Shattered glass, shattered marriage. But is all as it seems? S/J
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello everyone! I have finally had time to really work on some of my unfinished stories. **_**Shattered**_** is almost completely done, so I figured it was safe to start posting the new chapters in place of the old ones. I thought about just deleting the first story and posting this new one again, but I didn't know how that would affect the alerts for anyone who read the old one and might like to read this one, too. It's basically the same plot and characters; I just have some better direction for getting to the conclusion now. I'll post the first six chapters today and probably the rest within this week. Thank you!**

"Why? What happened to us? What would make you do something like this, Jack?"

"Sam…the job-" He tried.

"No, Jack. We both know this wasn't about the job. I want a real answer." Sam searched his eyes for a hidden sign and waited for him to say something. By now she wasn't really sure she could take his answer, but knew nothing could be solved until he told her. So, she geared up and held her emotions at bay.

But, his lips stayed sealed. Eventually, Jack had to break eye contact with his wife for shame.

She couldn't last much longer, she had to get away from him, "Fine, don't talk to me like an adult. Just go." Sam turned to walk away, but his strong fingers around her arm halted her retreat.

"Please, Sam." She could hear the desperation in his voice. She didn't need to turn around to know his eyes would be just as imploring. Her shoulders slumped in indecision, and as much as it confused her, all she wanted in that split second was to forgive him. But as soon as she did look at his face, all she could remember was his betrayal. No, she wasn't ready to deal with him yet. Sam started to retreat, but she was still restrained by the clasp he had on her arm.

She felt physically sick at his touch. "Get off me," her voice was dangerously low, "and pack your things." He didn't move, so she shook off his hand.

"Jack, this isn't a game. You can't just stand there and ask me to let you stay when you won't tell me what's going on. This is our marriage we're talking about." Sam had to take a few deep breathes. She needed to remain calm or she would either cry or shout; she wasn't sure which.

Jack's voice was gentle, yet she could tell he was frustrated. Whether with himself or her, she did not know, "I understand that, Sam, but there's a lot I can't tell you."

This made her anger flare, "Oh, of course. The Great Jack O'Neill who has a problem opening up to anyone emotionally," she saw him flinch at her biting tone, but was too upset to care, "Sorry for thinking that after my husband of _seven years_ goes off and…" she couldn't say the words, "…does something like this, he would give me some kind of explanation."

His teeth were clenched, "I already told you; I can't."

"Stop bull-shitting me, Jack. I'm your wife for goodness sake. If you won't be straight with me, then maybe I should just ask her?" she threatened.

His voice tightened, "Leave her out of this, Sam. It was my mistake; can't we leave it at that?"

"No, we can't, Jack. I deserve answers, and if you won't give them to me then just go get your things together and get out of this house." She turned her back on him and went to the kitchen.

With shaking hands, she lifted a glass of water to her lips. Could she handle this? Sure, Samantha O'Neill could blow up a sun and build a nequada reactor in no time at all, but family problems had never been her strong suit. '_No_,' she corrected herself; 'your life _has never been your strong suit.'_

Sam heard whispers in the hallway and set her glass on the counter. She peered around the kitchen wall into the hall. Jack was hugging their daughter tightly. Sam's heart swelled as she listened to their conversation.

"Daddy, I love you," the little voice was so soft that Sam's ears had to strain to hear it.

His hand stroked her blonde curls, "I love you, too, sweetheart. To Thor's Planet and back."

Emily pulled back to see Jack's sad face, "Are you going away, Daddy?"

Jack looked surprised, "Why would you ask that?"

Sam's heart sank at the answer as Emma studied her feet shyly, "I heard Mommy saying for you to go away. It's not true, right? You won't leave me, will you Daddy?" Emily's hopeful blue orbs were round as she gazed up at him.

He knelt down and put his hands on her tiny shoulders. He opened his mouth several times in the attempt to say something, but nothing would come. After a few deep breaths, he began, "I'm not leaving _you_, Ems. I just can't be at the _house_ for a while."

"Is this like when you have to go on missions with Uncle Teal'c and Uncle Danny?"

"Not really, honey. I'll still be around to hang out with you; I'm just not living with you and Mommy right now."

It occurred to Sam that she should be having this conversation with them, but Emily's next words made her glad she wasn't. "Did I do something bad, Daddy?"

"Of course not, Ems. How could my sweet pea _ever _do something wrong? She's perfect," Sam could see Jack lifting Emily's chin and giving her a little tickle. The smile Emily spread was like gold to Sam.

Emily's features grew thoughtful, and then suspicious. She pulled away from Jack completely. She erected herself as tall as a six-year-old could with folded arms, and tapped her foot, "It's Mommy, isn't it? She's why you won't stay!" she accused.

Sam saw Jack pause and knew that would be answer enough to their daughter's question.

Before Jack could formulate a denying answer, Sam came out from the kitchen. "Come on, Emily. Let's let your dad pack up. Would you like to take the dog on a walk?"

Emily's little features scrunched up angrily and she ran to hang on Jack's arm, "I won't go anywhere with you. You're making Daddy go away. I hate you!"

Jack was quick to come to his wife's defense and chided gently but sternly, "Emily, don't talk to your mother that way." Emily lowered her head and hung onto his arm tighter. Satisfied that she was quieted down, he looked up to see Sam frozen, "I didn't tell her that, Sam, I swear."

"I know," she said softly. She swallowed back the lump in her throat and turned back to the kitchen.

Jack kneeled in the hallway a few seconds longer, confused by Sam's actions. Then, he sent Emily to her room and followed his wife's path into the kitchen.

She was standing in front of the window and her body quivered. Without a word, he laid his hands on her shoulders and turned her into his embrace. She didn't fight him at first, but then she remembered who had caused all this to begin with, and she pushed him away.

She glared up at him with tired, but defiant eyes, "You've ripped our family apart, Jack. Just do something good for once and leave quietly, okay?"

Stunned by how true her words rung, he took a step back. After only a moment's pause, he retreated to their bedroom and concentrated on gathering personal items into an old suitcase. He was surprised to see Sam leaning against the doorframe when he looked up. He felt her watching him, but he didn't have any idea as to why.

"I'll get the rest later," he gestured to the clothes that still hung in his closet.

She nodded and moved aside so he could pass into the hallway. She followed Jack to the front door and was shocked to see Emily already waiting, Barbie suitcase in hand. The little girl's face was tear-streaked, but determined.

Before Sam or Jack could utter a word, Emily spoke, "I'm coming with you, Daddy."

Jack once again knelt to her level, "Ems, I wish I could take you with me, sweetie. But I can't."

Emily was not fazed in the least by his statement; she simply yanked on his hand until he stood up and then pulled him to the door. "Daddy, say good-bye to Mommy; we're leaving now."

Jack could see the fire in his child's eyes that was so like her mother.

Sam intercepted her daughter's hand on the doorknob. "Emily, that's enough. Go to your room."

Emily harshly ripped her hand out of Sam's. "I won't! I want Daddy, not you!"

Jack could see that Sam was deeply wounded by their daughter's rejection by the watery film covering her eyes, but could tell that her anger was winning out. Unfortunately for Jack, that fury was directed at him.

"Emily O'Neill, I will not listen to this. If you're so confident that your father is innocent, why don't you just ask him _why_ exactly it is that he's leaving!" The second the words flew from her mouth, Sam regretted them.

Emily's little brows knitted together as she looked upon her father's face. "Daddy?"

Jack was mad now as well. His hard gaze bore into his wife. They'd had a silent agreement to exclude Emily from their marriage problems. His tone was low and dangerous, "Emily, come give me a hug and then go to your room. I'll talk to you later." His face remained glued to Sam's.

Emily quickly obeyed and scampered away. She was not going to mess with _two _angry parents.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Jack went off, "Why did you do that? We had an agreement."

Sam pitched her voice higher than his, "Why did _you_ do what _you_ did?" she shot back.

"I can't tell you!" His hand shot through his silver hair in frustration.

"You disgust me on so many levels, O'Niell." She turned her back on him and started to unlock the door to show him out.

Before her fingers touched the lock, he had his hands on her shoulders, spinning her roughly to face him, "Don't throw my name at me like it isn't yours now, too."

She struggled to free herself from his grasp, "Maybe if I had been smarter and listened to Pete when he told me you were a loose cannon, it wouldn't be!"

Instinctively, his grip on her grew to be steel-like as he got worked up, "Oh, so this is what it comes down to. I _knew_ you could never get over leaving 'The Wonder-Cop' for a loser like me, right? I should have seen this coming. Well, you know what, Sam? I don't care what you do with your life. Run back to him if you want, but I _will not_ let that creep near Emily!" He was shaking her now.

Sam saw the blind rage in his face and suddenly knew why he had been in Special Ops all those years. He could separate himself and his emotions from his actions at the drop of a hat and she believed that was what he was doing now. She desperately tried to reach him, "Jack, you're being irrational. Stop it!" Her upper arms hurt and this was not helping emotions at all.

This seemed to get to him and he abruptly broke all contact with her. Sam was unprepared for his unexpected release and she had to fight to regain her balance.

Jack took the handle of his suitcase and stormed out the big white door. Sam took a seat in the dining room adjacent to the entryway and recovered from the blow-out. She lifted her short shirtsleeves and winced at the red fingerprints he had left. The bastard had left before she had had a chance to scream at him back, and this bothered her more than anything. She knew that she would only be able to rid herself of this kind of anger by hurting something, and since her only chance at release had just left, she stewed in frustration.

She felt unfulfilled, and worst of all, _she_ was the cause of it. _She_ had been the one to tell him to go and now she was upset because he'd honored that request. Sam stared down at the crystal vase in front of her on the oak table. The beautiful pink tulips the crystal contained had caught her eye.

She considered the vase as she fingered the intricate patterns within its structure. It had been a wedding present from Jack's sister. Sam gently laid the tulips on the deep rich wood of the dining room table.

Then, she calmly walked into the entryway, vase in hand, and hurled it at the front door. There was an ear-splitting crash as crystal met oak. She saw the vase shatter and the broken pieces fall to the floor. Satisfied, Sam smiled, brushed her hands of the business, and turned to tuck Emily into bed. She understood that her daughter would probably still be fuming in her room, but Sam now felt more equipped to handle the child with most of her negative feelings out.


	2. Chapter 2

**TWO MONTHS EARLIER…**

"Daniel Jackson." The archeologist sat at his desk and picked up the ringing phone, frustrated. _Why does someone always need me when I just start making progress with my translations?_

"Hey, it's Sam." Samantha O'Neill held the phone with her shoulder and ear while both her hands were busy drying dishes at the sink.

"Sam! It's been weeks. How's my favorite goddaughter? Last time I saw her, I believe she was covered in mud." Daniel's mood changed drastically from annoyance to elation upon hearing his friend's voice. He had been so caught up with deciphering the text SG-12 had found recently that he hadn't had time to stop by for a visit or pick up the phone to say hello.

"You mean your only god daughter?" Sam questioned, "She's fine. I was actually calling to ask if you still had that table at your place. You know, the one we always use for barbeques?"

"Sure, of course. Why?"

"Well, a certain someone is having a birthday party in a few weeks and we'll need the extra room."

Sam could mentally picture Daniel slapping his forehead, "Oh! How could I have forgotten the big zero-six? Is there anything else you want me to bring?"

"No, I think we'll be okay. Maybe just some pop. Jack's going to take Emily to choose decorations when he gets back."

"Back? Where'd he go?"

"Some exploratory mission with SG-6. As you can imagine, he was thrilled."

Daniel chuckled, "That's Jack for you. Hold on a moment." Sam could hear an exchange in the background and then Daniel came back on, "Sorry, that was Lieutenant Burton. She's on her way out and forgot her keys. Apparently, she's going to visit some family this week."  
"Oh, how is Kathy? Is she still with SG-6? She was talking about a transfer a few months ago."

"Nope, still there." Then it dawned on him. "Hey, didn't you just say Jack was supposed to be with them? If there was a mission, she'd be on it."

"That's odd…" she was interrupted by something, "Yes, not right now, honey." After a moment, she conceded. "Alright, but just for a minute." She turned her attention back to Daniel. "There's a little lady here that would like to talk to you."

"Uncle Danny!" came the excited voice of his niece.

"Hey princess!" Daniel had to shake his head in wonderment of his niece's never-ending enthusiasm.

"Guess what, Uncle Danny? I caught a frog! I was gunna give it to Daddy when he got home, but Mommy said I had to put it back outside." Her lips turned to a pout and Sam received a look from her daughter at the last part.

"That's great, sweetheart. I'll have to come and see you soon. I bet you've grown a foot taller by now," Daniel said teasingly.

"That's silly, Uncle Daniel. Nobody can grow that fast!"

"Well, you've got me there." A low chuckle escaped Daniel's mouth. "Have you thought about what you want for your birthday?"

Emily burst out like she'd been waiting for this exact question, "Of course! I want a Barbie doll, and a new baseball bat, and a pony, and this dolly that you can feed and change, and…Okay, Mommy says she wants to talk to you now."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later."

"Next time I see you; can we catch frogs we can keep?"

"We'll see."

"Love you, Uncle Danny."

"I love you, too, sweetheart."

After a quick transference of the phone, Sam's voice filled his ears, "Sorry, she can go on like that for a while. So, we'll pick up the table some time next week. And…" she hesitated, "Do you think you could check on where Jack is for me? I would, but the General is so hard to get a hold of and since my leave of absence…"

"Sure, Sam. I'll check the roster and give you a call later."

"Alright. Thanks, Daniel."

"Sure thing. I'll come by the house later this week, ok?"

"As long as you bring dinner."

"Anything to avoid eating your cooking." He referred to the team's long-running inside joke of their opinion concerning Sam's food.

"Ha ha. Very funny, Daniel."

"Bye, Sam."

"Bye."


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Her hands covered in paint, Sam dashed to reach the ringing phone and wipe her hands at the same time. Breathless, she answered, "O'Neill residence."

"Sam, hey. It's Daniel."

"What's up?"

"Sorry I didn't call you back the other day, but there's something strange about this roster. It doesn't say anything about Jack at all. According to this, he should be home with you. There must be some mistake or something."

"No, that is weird-"

"Daddy!" Emily threw down her paint brush much to her mother's chagrin as it landed on the kitchen floor and left a red mark. She jumped into the waiting arms of her father, smearing paint in the shape of small fingers on the back of his BDU's.

"Speak of the devil; he just walked in the door. Listen, I'll talk to you later, Daniel. Thanks."

"Bye, Sam." She hung up the phone and walked toward her family.

"Well hey there, kiddo. I'm happy to see you, too, but you're cutting off my air supply." Emily's arms loosened their hold on Jack's neck, but kept her legs wrapped firmly around his stomach.

She nuzzled her head in his neck and he placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

"How's my favorite girl doing?"

Jack could see the glee dancing in her eyes as she pulled back from his chest in order to see his reaction to her good news. "Guess what, Daddy? I painted a picture just for you! Come see!"

She was already squirming out of his grasp. She grabbed his hand and pulled him to the counter. "See, Daddy, see? It's Homer." Emily was referring to the golden retriever Jack had owned since before he married Sam. The drawing was the kind only a parent could love with the dog's tail purple and the sky red. "I know how much you like him, so I made you something you could keep with you always."

O'Neill smiled at the sweet innocence of his little girl and picked up the fallen paint brush. "You know what? I think there's something missing here." Emily looked at him in confusion as he rinsed out the brush and dipped it in her favorite color- blue. He carefully drew a small stick figure next to the dog, showing his lack of artistic skills.

"Who's that?" Her little head titled ever so slightly and the brows above her brilliant blue eyes gently wrinkled in perplexity while her pink lips pursed in thought.

"That's you, Ems." At this point she shrieked in surprise and delight. "Now you can always be with me, too." Emily clapped her hands and started painting another scene- this one resembling their house.

_I wish you could be with me forever, Emily. I can't stand the thought of leaving you, but I won't stay if it will kill you. I can't protect you from everything I've witnessed as much as I'd like to think._

Emily was startled when a 'clank' interrupted her intense thought process while she worked on her picture, but as soon as she realized it was just her mom, she went back to picking out which color would look better for Daddy- baby pink or hot pink.

Jack, too, became aware of his wife's presence. She was apparently putting away dishes from the dishwasher and had dropped a plastic plate. Until then she had been quiet, giving Jack and Emily much needed bonding time, but now it was her turn.

He engulfed her in one of the tightest hugs they'd had in a while. "It's so good to see you."

His statement struck her as odd, because this mission had been pretty short in comparison to others and he wasn't the sentimental type. She let this go, though, happy to see him as well, "You, too. Emily and I have been painting all day."

The embrace ended and Jack continued, "That's fun. Have you guys been working on the invitations yet?"

"Oh, yes. Ems couldn't wait to pass them out at kindergarten."

Jack smiled just thinking about his daughter's excitement. "I bet. That's my girl."

"Do you want to get dinner started?"

He covered his mouth in mock shock, "You mean that after I come home from a hard four days of work, you're going to force _me_ to make dinner?"

"Well, let's put it this way…you can have the left over meatloaf I made, that the dog wouldn't eat, or you can cook."

***

He grinned, "I'll get right on it then."

Later, after tucking Emily in, the O'Neills relaxed by the fire. Two empty glasses of wine were forgotten on the rug. Sam's head rested on Jack's chest as they lay on the couch.

"Hey, Jack?" she began softly.

"Yeah?" he was drifting off.

"Where did you say you went again?"

"With SG-6; terribly boring."

"Oh, and how was Lieutenant Burton? Is Kathy getting along okay with that new guy? There was some conflict in the beginning…"

"Yeah, they're fine. Between you and me…I think an engagement won't be far off for them."

"I'll have to say hello then soon."

"Alright, sweetheart." Those were his last coherent words before she heard his steady snore.

Usually her husband's slow breathing could get her to sleep, but not even that would help Sam tonight. She couldn't stop her brain from turning. _Why would he lie? Kathy wasn't on that mission, she was on leave with her family. Jack and I never lie to each other. Never…_


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Sam nervously glanced at her watch for what seemed like the hundredth time. Emily's party had started nearly an hour ago and Jack was nowhere in sight. He'd gone to work that morning and had promised to pick up the cake on his way home, but neither he nor cake was anywhere to be found. She tried calling his cell phone again, but it went straight to voice mail.

She thought, _'Jack, if you're not in serious trouble right now, you will be when I find you.'_

Emily stopped her water balloon fight with Uncle Danny, Uncle Teal'c, and the other kids and approached Sam, "Mom, when are Daddy and Cassie going to get here?"

Sam had been so busy trying to figure out where Jack went that she hadn't even noticed Janet and Cassandra's absence, "I'm sure Dad will be here soon, honey. Do you want to go inside and call Aunt Janet?"

Emily nodded and skipped over to Teal'c. She pulled him in the house, presumably to help her make the call.

Sam sighed and glanced at her watch again. Trying to be a proper hostess, she mingled for a while with the other parents and answered questions from the mothers about her lovely home. Twenty minutes later, when she was just about to call the police, Jack ambled in with birthday cake in hand. Behind him ran an eager Cassie pulling Janet by the arm.

Jack headed toward the main table to put down the cake and Sam met him there.

She whispered harshly, "Where have you been? I was worried when you didn't call."

His eyes cast downwards in guilt, "I'm sorry, Sam. I really wanted to be here, but I got caught up on the mission…"

Slight panic filled her, "You're okay, though, right?"

Jack softly touched her arm and reassured, "I'm fine, just some bumps and bruises."

Sam relaxed and looked him over; he seemed alright. "Is that why Janet and Cass were late, too?"

He shifted a little in what looked like discomfort, which confused Sam, but just said, "Yeah."

Emily soon spotted her father and flung herself into his arms for a hug. Sam smiled at this and joined General Hammond on the lawn chairs. He loved his grandniece dearly and also grinned as she introduced Jack into the water game.

Sam took a seat next to him, and the General fondly recalled, "I can remember being at your sixth birthday party back when Jacob and I were the young fathers. I can't believe how much has changed since then, Samantha."

Sam knew he was remembering her mother and his wife. "Aunt Jenny and Mom would have loved to meet Emily; don't you think so, Uncle George?"

He agreed, "Yes, your daughter is one sweet girl, Sam. You've done a fine job with her, and your mother would be proud."

This brought a few tears to Sam's eyes and she changed the subject, "I'm just glad Jack got back from the mission in time. He said it was a little rough."

The General's brow wrinkled, "Mission? I didn't know Jack was on any missions this week."

Sam was suspicious and was just about to question Uncle George when Jack shouted, "Cake time! Gather round everybody!"


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Sam groggily cracked open an eyelid when her peaceful sleep was disturbed by the creaking of her bedroom door. Light from the hallway invaded the darkness of the room, making her squint. She could barely make out a tall figure quietly enter and shut the door. She readjusted her vision and could see what looked like a shadow passing the bed and going into the closet.

For several minutes, she could hear nothing, and shut her tired eyes knowing that only one person could navigate through the scattered items throughout the room as well as she without light. Finally, there was noise in the bathroom of someone using the toilet, flushing, and washing his hands. Trained soft footsteps were on the carpet and then she felt a shift in the bed.

Sam could feel the warmth of his body in the bed, and a shiver ran through her when his feet brushed against her cold ones. Other than that brief touch, there was no contact. Albeit, the King sized bed was big, but she missed his usual cuddle.

She rolled to face him, forging slumber still. She smoothly slung an arm over his bare chest, but confusion filled her when he shifted from his back to face opposite her, recoiling from the touch. Sam kept her breathing controlled. _What is he doing?_

She lifted her lids the slightest bit and took in his rigid form. He was almost on the edge. _Usually when I take up the whole bed he just pushes me back to my side and holds me for a little while. What's up?_

She could almost hear the wheels turning in his brain when his breath became slightly shallower, a sure sign something was grating on him. For as many years as they'd known each other, he could always tell when she was faking something, whether it was a smile or masking pain. He always knew. So why now was he not making some remark about her staying up for him?

_He must know I'm awake. Maybe he's just wrapped up in his own thoughts. But, still, it's not like Jack to roll away from me. We're not fighting so that isn't it; even if it was frustrating that he had to go back to work after the party. Jack's ultra sharp senses are a part of him. He can always tell the littlest difference in my breathing. Probably just a hard night… What time is it anyway?_

She glanced at the digital clock resting on their night stand. It read 3: 07 a.m. Stifling a yawn, she gave in to her weary body and settled in to go back to sleep, resigning herself to talking with him in the morning.

Jack sighed in relief when his ears picked up Sam's gentle breathing return to slumber. _Well, there's one long conversation avoided. You can never find out, Sam. I'm so sorry. So sorry. You wouldn't want anything to do with this broken old soldier if you knew what I'd just agreed to…_


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

The next morning, Jack rose to the smell of pancakes and a cold spot next to him in bed. He pulled on a T-shirt and followed his nose to the kitchen.

"Good morning sleepy head." Jack looked over the table and found the source of the muffled voice. His daughter was sitting in a wooden chair with a mouthful of syrupy pancakes, the sticky liquid dripping down her chin.

"Good morning, beautiful. But, it'd be a lot easier to hear your gorgeous voice if you'd chew before you talk." He picked up a napkin and wiped the offending syrup.

"We thought you'd sleep forever." Sam was at the skillet finishing up the pancakes and moving on to bacon. She was the most stunning thing he'd ever seen, standing there in only an old shirt of his with the early sun shining in through the window and reflecting off her long blonde hair.

Guilt washed over him as he remembered why he hadn't been in bed making love to that spectacular woman last night. There was too much on the line, more resting on his shoulders than ever before. He needed an outlet; needed someone to understand and share his pain. His wife had always been that person. She couldn't be this time.

Jack swallowed down his thoughts and cleared his throat, taking a seat next to Emily. "Late night last night, that's all."

"Oh, really?" Sam asked innocently, knowing full well just how late he'd gotten in.

"There was a situation at the Mountain."

"Daddy, when do I get to go back to work with you?" Emily had finished all her pancakes and was waiting as patiently as any six-year-old could for the rest of her breakfast. Her bottom lip stuck out and quivered while her crystal blue eyes went wide as she turned the pleading face on Jack.

"I'm so whipped…" Jack said under his breath. To his daughter he said, "Mom's here at home with you now, and pretty soon you'll be going to first grade, sweet pea. You don't need to come sit in that boring old place anymore."

He knew Emily liked the Mountain, because it provided adventure for her, and she had every officer on base wrapped around her little finger. Her every wish was their command, and there was always someone for her to play with.

Emily maintained her precious pose and said in her most exaggerated voice, "But Daddy, I love the Mountain. And I can see Mommy any time. I never get to see Uncle Teal'c and Danny anymore. Doesn't Aunt Janet need to give me a check-up soon? Cassie gets to go to the Mountain. I miss seeing you at work, Daddy. And I learn SOOO much there, too. Last time Siler taught me how to make announcements on the speaker thingy and pretend to sound important, remember?"

Sam cringed, "I think we all remember that." She had spent several hours after that explaining to various people that no, she was not agoraphobic, she just didn't want her daughter playing with frogs and in the mud in her good clothes.

Jack recollected the situation clearly as well, but his memory was fonder as he was going through the 'Gate when Emily's sweet voice filled his ears and he only caught the beginning of her speech.

_She must really want to go if she mentioned getting a check-up. _Emily was much like her dad in that respect. She wouldn't go near a needle or stethoscope unless there was a serious reward or punishment threatened.

While Jack was delighted at his little girl's attentions, Sam was trying to be understanding. She knew that Emily was desperate for some time with her dad with his visits being so infrequent as of late, but that comment 'I can see Mommy anytime' really got to her. Just a few weeks ago, Emily would run into Sam's open arms any chance she could with the biggest smile, excited to see her mother after a long mission. She supposed now she knew what it was like for housewives all over America. The wife stays home and does all the work and gets no appreciation while the husband comes home and gets all the attention. She decided it really sucked.

Mustering a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, Sam said, "I suppose a little visit wouldn't be out of the question. We do need to get those yearly check-ups done."

Emily beamed while Jack shot his wife a loving smile. "Yay!" She clapped her hands like only a six-year-old could do. "I'm going to the Mountain!"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: IMPORTANT! Recently reviewing my story, I realized that chapter four was never switched out. I have now corrected the error. From the old story, it was when the O'Neill's were stargazing on the roof. It was supposed to be Emily's party scene, so please go back if you have a chance and read the correct chapter four. I think you will find that it makes more sense lol! Thanks to everyone for the reviews!**

CHAPTER 7

Two weeks later, Emily happily waved good-bye to the airman at the check-point station. She held tight to her mother's hand while they maneuvered through the hallways. Emily's eyes looked around her in wonder at the hustle and bustle of SGC life. She always loved the constant noise of people and machines. It comforted her many times when her parents had been on a mission and she stayed with her Aunt Janet or Uncle George.

Finally reaching their destination, Emily squealed and ran to greet the General. He stood from his desk just in time to catch the sixty pound child leaping into his arms. "Oof! My, young lady, aren't you getting big?"

She giggled, "Maybe _you're _getting _smaller_, Uncle George."

He gently set her down and pointed to his shelves, "There are plenty of cool things you can look at over there if you want."

Emily considered this before shrugging, "Okay."

He addressed Sam, "I didn't know you two were coming for a visit today."

She took a seat across the desk from him, "Well, Emily needed her yearly check-up with Janet. She actually asked to come today, can you believe it?"

He joked, "Jack's daughter, _wanting_ a visit to the infirmary? Did heck freeze over?"

Sam smiled and led into what she really came to talk about, "Speaking of Jack, he's been on quite a few missions lately." She joked, "Are you trying to keep my husband from me?"

The General scratched his chin in thought, "To be honest, Sam, I have been trying to keep his schedule lighter than usual lately. I know a young family needs to spend time together, and with your leave of absence and only coming back to work part-time…"

She leveled with him, "I've had Daniel check the roster a few times for Jack's name when he was supposed to be on a mission, and it wasn't there. If he's doing some kind of Black Ops, Uncle George…You know how that can mess with him."

He guaranteed her, "Sam, if he was doing anything like that, I would know. I can honestly say that I am perplexed at this myself. He's the one who asked me for some extra time off to be with you and Emily."

Sam's specialty was puzzles, and her brain was already working hard on this one. She got up and kissed him on the cheek, "Thank you, Uncle George. If you do find out anything…"

He nodded, "I'll let you know, dear."

"Emily, come hug Grandpa George goodbye. It's time for your check-up, sweetie."

Emily put the airplane back in its place on the shelf and hugged the General goodbye.

***

Hand-in-hand, Sam and Emily continued down the long corridor to the infirmary. They stepped in and were immediately greeted by a group of nurses, some of whom had been present for Emily's birth. They asked if Emily wanted to pick out a sucker from the candy jar and learn about some of the medical instruments. Emily looked to her mother, and Sam nodded her approval.

Then, Sam decided to peak into Janet's office and chat for a few minutes while Emily was occupied. The door was closed, which was odd. That meant Janet was either conferring with a patient or in a very bad mood. Sam was poised to knock when she heard a very familiar voice from inside the office.

Jack said, "Janet, I just don't know if I can do this anymore. It's asking too much. I can't leave my wife and daughter."

It sounded like the doctor was soothing him, "Jack, it's just for a little while, just until she understands."

"Sam will hate us; I don't know if I can ever make this right."

The voices were getting nearer to the door and Sam quickly backed away. Her mother always said not to eavesdrop unless you were prepared to hear what that someone had to say. What did this mean? Sam hoped to God it wasn't what she thought it was. She quickly excused Emily and herself from the infirmary.

***

As they were walking to the car, Emily protested, "But Mom, why? This is so unfair; you promised we could stay until lunch. I didn't even get to have my check-up."

Sam still pulled her daughter along by the arm, "Emily, we can come back, okay? Today just wasn't a good day."

Emily frowned in disappointment and quietly said, "Whatever."

Sam knew she would have to confront Jack when he got home.

Back inside Janet's office, she was saying, "Jack, this is to protect your family."

He sighed, "I know, I just thought I was done with all of this shit."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: ATTENTION!!! ****The first chapter is a continuation of the end of this chapter****! If you have the time, I would encourage you to go back and read the first chapter directly after finishing this one. ****This and the first chapter is present time****. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, and especially those who gently encouraged me to get this chapter up quick lol! **

CHAPTER 8

Later that evening, Sam loaded the dishwasher from the dirty dinner dishes and sent Emily up to tidy her room. She attempted some light housework, and then was decidedly too nervous. She chose to sit in the dining room, in full view of the front door, to wait for Jack. She had been through many possible scenarios of what Janet and her husband could have been discussing, and how she should broach the subject with him. She had finally settled on a plan of attack: ambush.

When Jack strolled into the house fifteen minutes later, he hung up his coat in the closet as usual. As he turned around to go into the kitchen, he heard a voice that stopped him in his tracks.

This was not the voice of his loving wife; this was the steely voice of his kick-ass Major. It asked bluntly, "Are you having an affair with Janet?"

Slowly, he swirled on his heel to face her. She rose from her chair and moved towards him in a manner that reminded him of a lioness about to kill her prey.

This hadn't quite been the plan, and heaven knew how she had come up with the idea on her own, but he would play the part that was required, "Don't be stupid, Sam. Where would you get an idea like that?"

She circled him carefully, "Don't patronize me, dear. I heard you two talking in her office today."

This caused him panic, but he didn't let it show, "You're being ridiculous, Sam. Stop it." He tried to continue on his original path to the kitchen, but she blocked the way.

Just inches in front of him, she breathed, "A wife always knows when something is up, and for as long as we worked together before, you bet your ass I know you like the back of my hand."

Jack hated every minute of this exchange, but it had to be done. "Think logically, Sam. Why would I want to jeopardize our life by having an affair? And with Janet no less?"

She insisted, "I _am_ thinking logically, Jack. I checked on all of those missions you were supposedly on lately, and guess what? Your name wasn't on a single roster. So, do you want to tell me where you were?"

Loathing this part most of all, he took a deep breath, "Alright, Sam. I'll tell you."

He thought she should have looked satisfied, but instead he saw a certain anxiety in her eyes. He knew she was hoping that he would tell her something else, but he couldn't.

"It's true; Janet and I were together."

He observed his wife trying to hold her hard façade in place, trying not to let his words effect her, but she was quickly failing. She finally gripped the stair railing, speechless.

She no longer sounded like his military major when she spoke again, "I don't understand."

Her features were dazed as she searched his face for answers that he knew he couldn't give. Finally, he explained, "It just happened, honey. I'm sorry, really."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So I wasn't very happy with this chapter when I first wrote it, but I worked on it and like it much better now. Thank you everyone for the reviews. I really do appreciate them; they often inspire me. I hope everyone in the US had a happy Thanksgiving!**

CHAPTER 9

Jack turned off the ignition and rubbed his eyes wearily. The blowout with Sam had left him with feelings he hadn't expected. He had played his part in order to protect his family and had tried to emotionally detach himself from the scene. But at the moment he saw Sam's and Emily's heartbroken features, he realized that playing his family was a hell of a lot harder than playing a mark.

He hated himself for hurting them, yet he was doing this to keep them from greater pain. With every word that left his mouth, he hoped that somehow Sam would innately know he was lying, see through the charade through their deep connection. Of course this was incredibly irrational since the whole point was to make her believe his affair. Jack honestly just couldn't accept that she really thought he would ever cheat on her.

He would never have abandoned and wounded his family this way under normal circumstances. He wanted to shout to Sam that 'no, he couldn't explain things any better, because he barely knew how to handle it himself. And why the hell didn't she know him better?'

The part that bothered him the most about this whole ordeal, however, was the end of their conversation. Jack O'Neill had lost control. The Colonel was always in charge of his life and his actions, especially when it came to his home life. Jack watched himself very closely, because he was constantly worried he would screw up his second chance.

His frustration with everything was so massive. He loathed the emotional injuries he was forced to inflict on his wife and daughter. He despised leaving them.

And then she had brought up _him_. The O'Neill's had never completely worked through this issue in their marriage. Sam mostly assumed it was obvious that she no longer held any feelings for Pete, since she had married Jack. So for her to throw this in his face now was unimaginable to Jack.

He was undone by simply the _thought_ of Pete coming anywhere near his family. This was a major insecurity for the Colonel. He'd never thought he was good enough for Sam: he was an old, callous, soldier, while Pete (Jack hated to admit) was young, energetic, and devoted. Why had his beautiful Major ever chosen to marry him?

Jack was sure of one thing, now; Sam would never want to see him again. After he had practically 'manhandled' her, he couldn't blame her. He had only seen blind rage at the situation, at himself, at the 'wonder-cop.' Using his physical strength against his wife was one thing that Jack had always promised himself he would never do, and he had even broken this vow.

Jack sighed at his impossible position and remembered the look in his little girl's pretty blue eyes when she understood that her daddy really was leaving. His mind flashed to the moment his wife's face turned from accusation to anguish and he hated himself for being the cause of it. His shoulders physically dipped from the weight of his mental worries.

Deciding that he could afford no more introspection, Jack grabbed the suitcase in the passenger seat. He slammed his truck's door and, with a dampened spirit, strode to the front door. He gave three solid raps on it and waited.

He heard her light footsteps approach, and she turned the lock. When she took in his weary appearance, sympathy showed in her eyes. She knew the deed had been done.

Janet's voice was soft as she relieved him of his suitcase, "Come in, Jack. I've sent Cassie to spend the weekend with my parents."

Jack just uttered a half-grunt in response as he continued into her kitchen. He opened a beer distractedly and Janet was surprised when he spoke, "You decided against the base then?"

Janet was momentarily confused and then realized that he had been listening about Cassie, "Yes. I figured at this point, Florida was safer than the SGC."

He nodded in understanding. The doctor gently probed, "So you told her…"

Jack took a long swig of his drink before answering, "Yep."

Janet sighed and knew she would have to ask him straight out, "And? How did she take it?"

He finished the rest of his beer in one gulp and reached to get another when Janet stopped him.

"No more, Jack. The tests…"

He froze, hand midway to the fridge. He pulled it back and ran his hand over his tired eyes.

"Have you eaten dinner?" She slowly ushered him to sit at the kitchen table. "How about I make you a little something?"

Jack didn't respond, so she took that as acquiescence and began heating some soup on the stove. She glanced over at the Colonel who sat seemingly emotionless. Janet knew better, though; he was only suppressing his feelings as a method of dealing with the pain.

Once again, Janet treaded on dangerous ground, "You didn't answer my question."

Gruffly, he said, "Food's fine; whatever."

She stirred the brew and tried to keep her tone neutral, "That's not what I meant. I was talking about Sam."

Irritation laced his answer, "I know that, Janet. I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, obviously. But keeping that inside won't help matters."

Harshly, he ripped out, "What the hell do you want me to say? That, yes, I told her. And yes, she was furious and hurt? That she couldn't even bare for me to look at her after knowing what you and I did? Is that what you wanted?"

Janet took a deep breath before answering. She carefully poured the heated soup into two bowls and carried them to the table. "You know that's not what I would ever want. I am just as far into this as you are, Jack."

He rubbed at his scalp as she set his food in front of him, "I'm sorry, Doc. I shouldn't be taking this out on you."

She sipped at her soup, "Just eat, Jack. You'll feel a little better."

He did as she instructed and ate, "I'll tell you one thing, Doc. We will make those bastards pay for this."

She met his eyes in seriousness, "You bet your ass we will. I am just as upset as you are, but we have to stick to the plan. And we have to keep our wits about us."

Jack gave a short laugh, "Wasn't I the one saying that to you in the beginning?"

She cleared their dishes, and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "This whole thing is hard, but we knew it would be. And I cannot regret having the chance to rid the world of the NID."

He straightened his shoulders, and responded with a strong voice, "You are right, Doc. We have a mission to carry out, and if we do our job correctly, we will never have to deal with the NID again."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So, I was a little wishy-washy with how I wanted Sam in this chapter. Let me know what you think! Also, thank you for all of the reviews and suggestions. Special thanks to KEF :)**

CHAPTER 10

Sam's bedroom door opened and she quickly wiped at the tears staining her cheeks. She fought to regain some composure as Emily silently watched her.

It had been three days since Jack had left, and Sam still could not believe what had happened. She never would have suspected him and _Janet_, let alone any other woman. Why couldn't he realize the fallout of his actions?

Emily had been acting out, and Sam figured that this was just her way of coping with the situation. She was not as warm towards her mother and was not playing very nicely with the other children at preschool. At night, Sam would check on her daughter only to find her in tears and fervently wishing aloud for Jack.

Sam had truly tried to be strong; she had only allowed herself a few brief moments (such as now) to mourn her marriage and attempt to make some sense out of everything. She and Jack had not had any contact thus far and she was glad of it. Sam didn't think she could hold herself back even just hearing his voice. She was angry and upset and confused. How could he have done this?

Especially after everything she had given up for him. Sam Carter had conceded her military career, her strong Carter name, and her home for him; she had even risked her father's disappointment and anger. That was more than she had ever even considered sacrificing for a male. After Jonas Hansen, Sam had promised herself that she would never again let herself be controlled and hurt by a man again. She had been a fool, breaking her vow for Jack without a thought.

And what had it gotten her? A ruined career, a marriage on the verge of divorce, and a broken heart. Sam glanced at Emily then and could no longer be bitter. Yes, she had gotten all of these woes from opening herself up to love. But she had also received the most precious thing to her in the world from Jack: her daughter.

At this thought, Sam turned to her daughter with a half-smile. "Yes, honey?"

Emily hesitantly crawled into bed with Sam. She crept close to Sam's face and played with a few of her mother's curls. This familiar move comforted Sam. Emily's little voice admitted, "I'm sorry I've been naughty, Mom."

Sam choked back the lump in her throat. "_I'm_ sorry you had to hear Daddy and I fight, honey."

Emily's hands ceased their motions in her mother's hair, and she snuggled into Sam's chest. Shyly, she posed a question Sam had been dreading, "Why did Dad have to go?"

Sam had tried several times to find the words to explain to Emily what was happening, but how could Sam tell her six-year-old that her parents might be getting a divorce? Sam didn't even like to think of that possibility herself. She considered her words carefully, "Well, Ems, we're having a disagreement."

Her forehead wrinkled, "Fighting is bad, though, right?"

Sam sighed; her daughter was just too smart. She tried again, "Well, you should try not to, but sometimes it's better if parents have some time apart from each other."

"Like when we have to take a time-out at preschool?"

Sam marveled at her daughter's intelligence at times, "Yes, that's exactly how it is."

***

"Arrgggghhhh!" A low growl emerged from Jack's throat as he tried to control his body. It felt as though cold needles were pricking at his arms and legs and were growing hotter as they traveled to his heart until all Jack could feel was the searing pain in his chest. His knuckles blanched white as he gripped onto the chair's edges.

Janet inwardly cried out for her friend, but knew his agony was going to get much worse. It would do no good to protest for him at this stage.

A sinister voice commanded, "Increase the voltage."

Sensibly and warily, Janet suggested, "He can barely manage this intensity; perhaps it would be better to let him master this stage before changing anything."

A strong hand struck out against the Doctor and landed squarely on her cheekbone. Then, the same hand harshly gripped her chin and forced Janet to meet his black eyes, "We are not paying you to tell us what to do, Doctor."

The man abruptly released his hold on her and Janet rubbed her jaw, ignoring the welt forming on her cheek. Indignantly, she replied, "No, you're not. But it was my impression that I was here for my medical opinion. If that impression was incorrect, pray tell what you _do_ need me for."

He gave a hollow chuckle, "Careful, Janet. While I like some spunk in my women, I detest it in my workers."

Janet forced herself to bite her tongue and bow her head in false submission. Edward Fox was not a man one wanted to displease often, and Janet had experienced this first-hand. How wrong she had been about her ex-husband!

She returned to her station to monitor Jack's vitals. Edward shot her a look of warning and ordered again, "Up the voltage."

This time, Janet obeyed and watched in horror as Jack tried to harness the machine's power to no avail.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

**A/N: Thank you again for all of the wonderful reviews! I've wrestled a little with this chapter, so please let me know if it's too confusing!**

As soon as Edward declared them finished for the day, Janet rushed to unbelt Jack from the machine. For a full month, it had been the same scene everyday. Jack would be hooked up to the Weapon of Mass Destruction and be forced to sit for hours in acute pain while mastering each level of the weapon's energy.

The physical side effects were becoming more apparent now. A few clumps of hair had come loose, a tooth had cracked, three ribs had broken, and his skin was sallow. His mood was becoming more and more aggressive as the days past.

Janet gently helped him to the gurney and examined the damage done today. A patch of fresh bruises lined his back, and she had to reset his shoulder. All from that damn weapon!

The device had been found in Russia by the NID, and while it had been constructed by the Ancients, it appeared to have never been used. The inventor's notes were programmed into it, revealing that only a person with the Ancients' gene could direct the weapon's abilities. The problem was that the user must take the machine's power into himself and learn to manage it. This caused the adverse effects that Jack was now experiencing, and was why the project had been dropped by the Ancients.

Janet was glad that Sam would never have to see these injuries. She wouldn't have understood why after his numerous injuries, the SGC still continued to let him go on missions day after day. Eventually Sam, as a concerned wife, would have made a phone call to Uncle George and that would have been disastrous. They were under strict orders from the Joint Chiefs and President not to reveal the operation to anyone. Teal'c and Daniel would have also been a problem. Jack would have soon become unfit for duty and, thus, it would have been necessary for them to get away from the SGC anyway.

Furthermore, the NID had promised to kill Jack's family at the first sign that they knew anything; it had been part of the deal. Several agents had already infiltrated the SGC; there was no safe place for Sam and Emily. They even went as far as to bug the O'Neill's house.

Janet had been easier to coerce. Edward had things over her that made it impossible for her to refuse. That was not to mention the threat that hung over Cassie. The NID and certain other government agencies had wanted to test on her alien genes for a long time.

Even with the plentiful threats that the NID had dished out, Jack and Janet had still agreed to tell Sam about their plan. This was before they realized the machine's physically detrimental effects. After the first few tests, it became quite clear that Jack was going to get hurt- a lot. He knew Sam would never consent to another black ops mission, let alone one that constantly endangered her husband's health. When they had gotten married, she had made Jack promise never to be as reckless with his own well-being as he had been before. Janet knew that Jack detested lying to Sam, but if they were ever found out by the NID, there was no doubt that they would kill her. So, it was decided to exclude Sam from the plan, at least for the time being.

The worst blow for Jack and Janet had come when one of Edward's inside men had overheard them debating how to fool Mrs. Sam O'Neill, SGC's resident genius. Fox called them over privately at the next session and told them that he had the perfect solution to their problem. Janet had seen the familiar sadistic glow in his evil black eyes before he had even opened his mouth.

It was his plan for them to have the affair. He had cruelly smiled at his ex-wife then and said, 'Playing a home-wrecking whore should be old hat to you by now, Sweetheart.' Janet was confident that he had chosen this cover in particular to send her a message from the past. It also had the double effect, though, of ruining the doctor's relationship with her best friend while she lost the respect of everyone in the Mountain. Which, of course, was why it was so appealing to Edward.

Her ex-husband was an extremely wealthy and power-hungry man. He had accepted the NID's offer almost immediately when they had approached him. Edward was not one to pass up an opportunity such as this. So, he funded the operation and the NID let him legally have authority over the weapon with the agreement that they worked toward the same goals.

From what Janet understood, he had advocated her involvement after they had selected Jack as their test subject. This, naturally, made sense since she was already familiar with his unusual medical history. Her job, basically, was to make sure Jack didn't die.

This, however, was becoming increasingly hard. 'Time is money,' as Edward said, and the longer Jack took to learn the machine, the more money Fox was spending on the operation. He insisted on moving quickly to keep up with his impossible (in Janet's opinion) schedule for the machine, even when Jack was clearly not ready. If he worked the Colonel much harder, Janet believed that she would not long have a patient to treat.

She finished repairing Jack and left him to rest. Both of them had taken an extended personal leave from the SGC. After discovering their 'affair,' General Hammond had gladly granted them this. The rage that showed in his red face alone was a sign that if he had not gotten rid of Jack and her quickly, the General would have given them more than a sever tongue-lashing. However, they had not escaped without that threat of a formal inquiry into their 'lewd' conduct upon their return.

This was nothing compared to Sam's reaction, though. Two days ago she had phoned Jack, after no contact for over three weeks, and demanded to know where he was. Emily needed to see her father, even if Sam herself preferred not to. She was upset that he and Janet had taken leaves of absence and not informed her.

After Jack told her that he wouldn't be around for a while and couldn't tell her where he was, Sam was furious. Didn't he care at all about his family anymore? Didn't he want to talk about their marriage, or what was left of it? Wouldn't he give her the explanation she deserved? What about his disappointed little girl? And by God if he was with Janet right now, she would kill him.

They argued back-and-forth for forty-five minutes before Jack was too weak to continue. He was on the brink on fainting when Janet wrangled the phone from him. She sat him down in a chair and told Sam that Jack would have to call her back later. To this, Mrs. O'Neill replied that he need not bother other than to tell her where to send the divorce papers. With a click of finality, Sam had hung up.

The next day, Janet informed the Colonel of Sam's wishes. The only indication that he had heard her was the slight shaking of his balled fists.

***

Sam breathed deeply. She had just gotten off the phone with her lawyer and the O'Neill's were now officially going through a trial separation. She really hadn't meant for things to go this way, but Jack had given her no choice. He obviously did not want to make an effort to discuss things with her; he wouldn't even visit to see Emily. The last straw for Sam had been when Janet had come on the line. If Jack O'Neill was more interested in _her_ than his family, Sam thought, then maybe he did not deserve one.

She briefly wondered if this was what it had been like for Sarah. Had Jack done this to his first wife? Sam quickly forgot this line of thought; she was being ridiculous.

Samantha O'Neill knew her husband. Jack was kind and loving. Yes, he had a rather dark past, but so did she. He was not another Jonas Hanson, she assured herself. The Jack she knew cared deeply for his family and friends; the idea of cheating never would have crossed his mind. Her Jack was willing to give up everything just to be with her. Her Jack thought she was beautiful, all the woman he needed. She knew her husband, right?

Sam would have refused to believe this new man was ever her Jack O'Neill if she had not seen his transformation with her own eyes. Her gut told her something was wrong, but then this whole situation was wrong.

At any rate, she would no longer mope about the house. Sam had once been a Major not too long ago, and she had not achieved that position without some serious strength, smarts, and ass-kicking ability. She refused to have self-doubts because of him. So he had cheated on her with her best friend. That was a fact she had to face, and she was positive it had nothing to do with her fallacies as a wife and everything to do with Jack being an ass.

She was still desirable, right? Sam stood to study herself in the hall mirror. Her creamy complexion was still intact, her long hair had only enhanced her looks, and her blue eyes still sparkled. Sure, she had put on a couple of pounds after Emily was born, but she was still thin. Yes, it was _not_ her fault that he had done this, she assured her wounded ego.

Sam decided that a new outfit and manicure would boost her confidence. "Emily! How would you like to go to the mall?"


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Please let me know if events seem a little rushed; I had trouble with this and then decided just to leave it as is. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Especially to those who have constantly given me wonderful feedback (you know who you are)! Many of you asked about Sam finding out. Don't worry, it will be soon (I just have to add a little more angst to the pot lol). Enjoy and tell me what you think!**

CHAPTER 12

Sam held her head high as she walked out of the nail salon. She admired her pail pink polish and complemented Emily on her hot pink choice.

"What do you want to do now, Em?"

"Um…how about food?"

Sam smiled, "You're insatiable, just like your-" she stopped before she said the words, frowning at why thinking about Jack was so hard.

"Just like who, Mom? And what does impatable mean?"

"No, dear, _insatiable_ and I meant you're always hungry," Sam ruffled Emily's hair affectionately. "My growing girl."

"Oh." They reached the food court. "Can I have McDonald's, please?"

Sam rolled her eyes and joked, "Alright, but don't blame me when you're arteries are clogged in your fifties, young lady."

After ordering, Sam gave Emily permission to play on the kids' equipment in the middle of the court and chose a table close by. She set their number down on the table and settled in to wait for it to be called.

Suddenly, she felt the warmth of a hand on her shoulder. Immediately, her military instincts kicked in and she tensed. A familiar voice relaxed her, though, "Sam? Sam Carter?"

He came around to face her, "Pete! What are you doing in Colorado Springs?"

He sat down at her welcome, "I was just promoted a few months ago and moved here for the job. What has it been? Five years now?"

"Congratulations." She corrected, "It's been seven at the least."

He seemed genuinely happy and Sam inexplicably envied him, "So it has. How did things work out with Colonel O'Neill?"

Sam was astonished at how much he'd grown emotionally. It was huge of him just to have asked, "We're married, actually." She caught the flash of sadness in his eyes and remembered her new status, "Well, recently separated, I suppose."

She played with the wedding ring she still wore on her finger in regret. He sympathetically placed his hand over hers, "I'm really sorry to hear that, Sam. I had hoped…Well, I figured if I couldn't make you happy, then maybe he could." His blunt honesty was surprising, yet refreshing.

Sam was starting to recall why she'd loved Pete, "You are a good guy, Pete Shanahan, and you didn't deserve what I did to you. You know I'm sorry I hurt you, right?"

He smiled weakly, "It is okay. I think I always knew deep down that I wasn't the man in your heart."

His cell phone rang, and the moment was broken. He read the caller ID. "Sorry, but I have to take this. It's the department. Listen, do you want to have dinner sometime?"

"Uh, Pete, I don't know if that's really a good idea-"

His puppy-like eyes bore into her, "Please, Sam? Just as old friends to, you know, catch up?"

She bit her lip, "Well…alright."

"Great. How about I pick you up tomorrow at seven for dinner?"

"I'll _meet_ you at O'Malley's at eight. Just as friends." Sam felt somehow better about the situation if she was in control and set the pace.

He nodded and started to walk away, "It is good to see you again, Sam. Talk to you tomorrow."

***

An indescribable surge rushed through Jack. He could not feel any pain, although he was aware that it had not gone away. Bodily needs were now just too unimportant for Jack to be concerned with. Slowly, the binds around his wrists and ankles started to snap until they hung loosely by his limbs.

This was it, the moment they had been waiting for. Jack could feel it. He now totally controlled the weapon. Triumph washed over him along with the feeling of complete supremacy.

At this point, Jack was supposed to implement the first stage of the NID's plan. He had 'agreed' to destroy all of Earth's weapons and major government buildings. Next, he was to kill all of the world's leaders. Militaries would then be given the 'choice' to surrender and serve the NID's cause or parish. Jack, controlling the machine, could literally murder thousands of people simultaneously. After there was no one left to stand in the way, the NID would announce its new authority over the public. The Colonel's stomach twisted at the thought that had he actually been an eager participant in this, the NID would have been able to rule the whole frickin' world.

Jack focused all of his energy into hating the NID and every evil for which the organization stood. The veins in his forehead pulsed in concentration, and before the personnel knew what was happening, the building began crashing down around them. People began scattering in panic; some tried to stop Jack, but he placed a force field around himself.

And then one-by-one, the rogues started imploding. Insistent sirens sounded and the men were screaming. Frightened, Janet huddled in a corner. This section of their plan had been sketchy, and she certainly had not expected people to just burst into flames and disintegrate around her. The ceiling and walls were crumbling, yet Janet's corner remained untouched. 'So he has not completely lost it,' she thought.

This terrifying moment seemed to last forever. Janet could not watch and buried her face into her knees. There was so much death, and this was horrifying even if the deceased were malevolent men and women. The doctor had not known that one human could cause this much devastation.

She shuddered at the thought of what the NID would have done with this sort of machine. She knew one thing; the NID would have done much worse with this device if she and Jack had not stopped them. Guilt slowly began to slip from her shoulders with this reflection. And then, just as fast as the pandemonium had come, it was gone. Silence reigned and Janet raised her head to analyze the wreckage. Tentatively, she rose to approach Jack, but she could tell that he was still deeply immersed in the machine, perhaps soaking in the destruction. Softly, a voice called for her attention on the other side of the room, "Janet, please…help me."

The doctor quickly went into 'medical mode,' grabbing the few supplies around her and striding carefully (to avoid remnants of bodies) towards her patient.

As Janet reached her charge, she forcefully stifled a gasp at the sight that met her surveying eyes. Buried under piles of rubble lay her ex-husband, immobilized. She could just barely make out his features underneath the blood and plaster smeared across his once-powerful face. Now, Janet Fraiser saw this helpless male, who had terrorized her life for years, for exactly what he was: weak.

Edward was just a _man_. With real flesh and blood and pain and he needed _her help_. This idea brought a humorless laugh to Janet's lips; her ex-husband had never needed _anyone's_ help. Yet here he was, lying vulnerablely before her eyes. For the briefest of moments, Janet contemplated leaving him where he was to die, to suffer as she had for so many years.

A life for a life, right? Her unborn child had done nothing to its father when Edward had brutally beaten the fragile life out of her stomach. He had watched apathetically as their baby's matter had gushed down her legs while Janet lay broken on the floor. And he had blamed _her_ for it. He had fucking blamed _her_ for killing their child.

The fire within Janet slowly began to blaze as maternal instinct for her lost child hit her full force. Edward deserved to die, it was true. In fact, she decided, he deserved a hell of a lot more than that as punishment. Only one meaningful truth held the doctor from willingly sending Edward to his death: If Janet killed him now, she would be no different from the monster in front of her.

And for that reason alone, the good doctor knelt down beside her unsavory patient- as she'd promised to do when she took the Hippocratic Oath- and assessed his condition.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: So sorry for the delay, guys. Writer's block is a b**ch. Thank you for the encouraging reviews and special thanks to KEF for her input :) Please don't hate me for this chapter; I promise Sam/ Pete makes me as sick as the next shipper lol. **

CHAPTER 13

Sam quickly ran a hand through her hair to tame a few fly-aways and glanced into her bathroom mirror one last time as the doorbell rang. She had applied light makeup and was dressed casually with jeans and a v-necked red top. _'Not bad for an almost ex-wife_,_'_ thought Sam.

Why she should be nervous, Sam didn't know. It wasn't as if this was a date; it wasn't as if she _wanted_ this to be a date. It was just that she'd changed so much since the last time Pete had seen her, and Sam really didn't want to be reminded of the things she had lost.

Things such as how she had given up her military career to play housewife for the last six years. Sure, she still worked in the labs and went on the occasional mission, and she was most of the time content with this arrangement. But sometimes, when Jack or Daniel talked about an exceptionally amazing mission or when SG-1 came tumbling down the ramp in bad shape, Sam really wished that she was still out there with her team. She missed that feeling of being a part of something bigger, of being a team.

Sighing, Sam slipped on her coat and yelled to the sitter that she would be right down and to let himself in. Smiling, she pulled out a dry ball of Play Dough from her pocket. Emily must have been playing hide-and-seek with the dog again. Shaking her head, Sam realized that she would never trade the time she spent with her daughter for the excitement of going off-world.

She made her way down the stairs and greeted Danny. "Thanks for coming on such short notice. Em's in the living room playing with Homer and she's very excited to see you."

He smiled teasingly at his friend, "No problem, Sam. You know I love hanging out with my little troublemaker."

Sam grinned back, "Be careful, Uncle Danny, she could say the same about you."

Daniel rolled his eyes and called, "Emily, come say goodbye to your mother before I have to strangle her."

She playfully nudged him in the shoulder. "Ow! I was only kidding!"

"I know," Sam returned mischievously, "but watch your language, Dr. Jackson."

Daniel's smile suddenly faded, "Sam, I'm glad to see you going out with friends tonight. I was worried-"

She cut him off, not wanting to have this particular conversation now. Daniel had been hovering around her since she'd told him about the separation, and Sam felt as though she barely had breathing room. He meant well, she knew, but she wasn't ready to talk about this yet. And though he'd never admit it, she suspected Daniel was dealing with the feelings he had for Janet. "Thanks, Daniel, but I'm fine, really."

She saw him hesitate, debating whether or not to push her, but Emily walked in before he could say anything. The little girl flung herself into the archeologist's arms. "Uncle Danny!"

"Hey there, princess," he gently set her down on the ground. "Ready to have some fun tonight? I brought a documentary about how bubble gum is made!"

Emily smiled sweetly, "Alright! Can we watch the Simpsons afterward and have some candy?"

Daniel and Emily both looked at Sam with pleading eyes, "Well, okay, but don't stay up too late. And you may have only one piece of candy. You didn't have a very good dinner, young lady."

"Thanks, mom. I love you," Emily hugged her mother and then trotted back to the living room.

Sam addressed Daniel, "Okay, pushover, no matter how adorable she is, no more than three pieces tonight."

He looked mock insulted, "Why, me, a pushover? Never."

They shared a mirthful look and then said goodbye. "I'll be home in a couple of hours. Remember that bedtime's at 9:30."

"I know," he assured. "Have fun."

***

As Sam entered the bar, she was struck by the smell of alcohol, smoke, and fried food that inhabited the place. _'Good ol' O'Malley's_,_'_ she thought fondly, _'Same as always_._'_ She quickly spotted Pete and joined him at a booth in the corner.

He rose to meet her, "You look…amazing."

"Uh, thank you," Sam blushed, not a little uncomfortable at the compliment. Pete motioned for her to take a seat, and then he took his. The waitress soon came and jotted down their drink orders.

"So how have you been, Sam? We have a lot of catching up to do."

"Um, pretty good. You?"

"Well, as you know, I received a promotion. I just moved into an apartment not too far from here, actually. Are you still working at the Mountain? Doing-" Pete glanced at her conspiratorially, "deep space radar telemetry?"

Sam giggled, "When Emily was born, I started working just in the labs. Recently, I've taken some time off to be with her, but in a few weeks I'll return part-time."

His eyebrows rose, "Emily? You have a daughter?"

"Oh!" Sam covered her mouth. "I just assumed you knew…"

He smiled encouragingly, "No, that's great! I'm happy for you. How old is she?"

"Just turned six," her face glowed with motherly pride.

"She's-" Pete looked uncomfortable and swallowed, "Uh, she's O'Neill's?"

A shadow passed over Sam's face, but it swiftly past, "Yes."

He realized his mistake and laid a comforting hand over hers, "Oh, gosh, Sam. I'm sorry…I didn't mean to bring him up."

"It's okay; I know you didn't mean anything by it," Her other hand squeezed his reassuringly. "I- I should be able to talk about it."

Pete paused as the waitress returned with their drinks, and then responded as she left.

"Don't rush yourself; you'll talk when you are ready. I know how hard it was for me after my divorce, and there wasn't a child to think about."

Gazing into Pete's sympathetic face, she was reminded of another pair of brown eyes. He had been ecstatic on the day Emily was born; alternately kissing his wife and his daughter. A wistful smile turned the corners of Sam's lips up slightly. That had without a doubt been the happiest day of her entire life. Jack was a wonderful father, and had attempted to make Sam laugh every chance he could while she was in the infirmary.

He had been so patient and kind to her even as she screamed and swore bloody murder on him. She shuddered slightly, reminded of the intense pain that childbirth brought. She had almost broken Jack's hand that day! It had all been worth it, though, when Janet had handed Jack his daughter and Sam saw the look on his face. Fatherly pride and unguarded emotions had swept across his features as he finally placed their new baby on Sam's chest. That was the only time Sam could remember actually crying tears out of utter joy and peace.

"Sam? Earth to Sam!" Pete snapped her out of her daydream and back to reality.

"Sorry," she physically shook her head to disengage from her thoughts, "I was just thinking about Emily. She misses her father deeply."

"I can imagine. I'm sorry things turned out badly for you, Sam. O'Neill's a fool for letting you get away."

She shifted uneasily, wondering if what she was going to say next was wise, "H-he-," Sam struggled to say the words, "he cheated on me. With Janet."

"Janet? As in Janet Fraiser, the doctor?" Sam nodded and gulped a mouthful of her drink. "Jesus, Sam, I'm sorry. I knew that bastard never deserved you."

She gently placed a hand on Pete's arm to calm his anger, even as she silently mulled over his words and discovered, to her amazement, that she didn't feel that way at all, "The funny thing was that after years of working with him and then of marriage, I was sure I knew Jack inside and out. I never would have thought he was capable of having an affair, ya know?"

"People can surprise you, Sam. That's what I thought about my ex-wife, too," Pete felt the need to lighten the mood. "How about we play some pool and drown our sorrows?"

"Ours sorrows? I thought everything was going great for you?"

Pete sucked in a deep breath, "Professionally, everything is. But personally, I just broke up with my girlfriend when I moved here and it really sucks."

Sam determinedly set her empty glass on the table and grabbed the detective's hand. "Alright, Pete. Let's order some real drinks and then I'll beat your ass at pool."

Pete grinned, "Whatever you say, Sam."

***

Jack writhed in agony. His energy was zapped from controlling the machine for too long, but he couldn't disconnect himself. As hard as he tried, the machine would not respond to that one command. If anything, it trudged on and the power continued to grow, forcing Jack to take on new abilities that he wasn't sure he could handle.

Vaguely, he sensed that Janet was concerned for someone and had moved from her position in the corner. '_Is she worried for me?'_ Jack could not tell, but then he picked up on another set of emotions emanating from somebody else. Pain, hatred, and desperation invaded Jack's mind.

He fought to focus on something else, lest- what he now identified as Ed's- negativity broke him. Instinctively, his thoughts drifted to Sam. She was his angel, his savior, his world. And he had hurt her.

'_No_,_'_ he reprimanded, '_focus on cheerful thoughts_.'

The way she always hogged the covers, despite the fact that by morning they would end up on the floor, while she cuddled into him for warmth. Her shoulder-length blonde hair spread across the pillow and her lazy-morning smile. How her blue eyes lit up every time she techno-babbled.

Automatically, his abilities took over and carried his consciousness to her. Jack could see Sam sitting at O'Malley's, talking with someone he couldn't quite make out. She looked upset for a moment, but then quickly recovered with a smile. Surges of emotion coursed through his whole being as he peaked into Sam's mind. He sensed her contentment and peace laced with…love and bliss?

'_This is wrong. How is she so…so happy…without me?'_

As if sensing that he was there, she shut off her mind to him. Jack was momentarily puzzled when he caught an overwhelming melancholy envelope Sam before she mentally put a lock on her emotions. Then, he clearly saw with whom she was conversing- Pete.

Jack's face contorted with rage as the machine sensed his displeasure and pulled him back to his body. He sucked in deep breaths and counted to ten, but neither helped to calm him. How 'wonder-cop' had weaseled his way back into Sam's life, he didn't know, but Jack was certainly not pleased about it.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

Sam groggily brought a hand to her pounding head. She could hear her cell phone ringing, but it sounded distant. Sighing, she resigned herself to the fact that she would have to get up and answer it; it could be the base. As she began to shift onto her side to get up, a warm arm tightened around her waist. Slightly panicking, Sam realized that she was cuddled into someone's chest- a very _male_ someone's chest. '_Where am I?'_

Compelling her weary eyes to open, she lifted her head to study the man's face. Sam forced a gasp down her throat as she recognized the bed's other occupant. Pete Shanahan was next to her, displaying a large grin in his slumber.

'_This is wrong,'_ her mind screamed. She quickly took inventory of the situation. Pete wasn't wearing a shirt, and to her horror, neither was she. But, their pants were both firmly in place and she was thankful to feel her bra still snugly fastened around her chest.

Gently attempting to extricate herself from his arms, Sam tried to remember how she had ended up here. She didn't even know where 'here' was. She recalled only bits and pieces of the evening: she and Pete getting drunk and playing pool, them getting into a taxi, him supporting her as they got into an elevator. What happened next? She didn't know.

Finally, Sam succeeded in moving off the bed without waking Pete. Finding her jacket flung across a chair, she reached into the pocket and pulled out her cell phone. Twelve missed calls from Daniel! Worry for Emily immediately overtook her, but then she saw what time it was: two a.m. _'Oh, God.'_

She located her crimson top on the floor across the room and slipped it on. She could see one of her shoes next to his dresser, but couldn't find the other one. Frustrated, Sam got to her knees and discovered it under the bed.

She froze as Pete grunted and switched positions in his sleep. _'Okay, just put your jacket on and get out of here, Sam. Please don't wake up, Pete. Please don't wake-'_

"Sam? What are you doing down there?" Sam grimaced and slowly rose to stand.

"Pete. I, um…was just leaving."

He sat up fully now and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, "Why? You don't have to go…"

She put an arm through her jacket and looked back at him apologetically, "Yes, Pete, I do. This shouldn't have happened. We didn't, uh, ya know…_do_ anything, right?"

"No! What kind of guy do you think I am, Sam? You passed out on the cab ride and I didn't know where you lived, so I brought you to my apartment."

"What about our tops…?"

Pete blushed, "You were a little…persistent…when I tried to put you on the couch. Said something about being able to have whomever you wanted…"

"Oh." _Shit._

"Yeah. Listen, Sam. I still care about you, a lot actually," this made her eyes snap to his in shock. "But I understand that you need time. Last night, you kept saying his name, and I got the distinct feeling that you only went out with me to prove a point to yourself, or to spite him. And that's not how I want this to be."

To say that she was taken aback by his confession was an understatement. "Pete, I'm sorry. I didn't know that was how you felt. But there is no 'thing' between us and there can't be. I went to O'Malley's to be with an old friend, and that's it."

He quickly rolled out of bed as she left the room. He reached her just as she entered his front hallway. "Please, Sam. You don't know what you do to me. I thought I'd gotten over you, but now I know that I didn't. You came back into my life and stirred all of these…feelings. You can't just walk away now. We can take things slow."

She turned to face him, "I can't, Pete. There is Emily to consider and I have to sort things out with Jack. I really am sorry." Sam once again moved to leave, but he gripped her arms to halt her retreat and bring her to face him again.

His tone wasn't threatening, just hurt, "You're sorry? That's it?"

Steadily, Sam looked him in the eye, "Yes."

"You are going to give that bastard another chance, aren't you?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "But whether I do or not, it won't change our relationship. I'm not ready to date, Pete, and I thought that we could be good friends and put the past behind us."

He still held her arms and sneered at her in disgust, "I thought you had finally seen O'Neill for what he really was. But I guess you're so pathetic and blinded that you can even take him back after he fucked your best friend. For goodness sake, Sam, look at what he's done to you! He made you unhappy, made you give up your job, made you stay home and take care of _his_ kid, made you to fit his life! And now you are so brainwashed, you cannot see what a wonderful opportunity I am giving you!"

Sam's voice was deceptively calm as she shook off his hands, "What a wonderful opportunity you are giving me?" she snorted. "He didn't force me to do anything, Pete._ I_ did all of those things because I loved him, and you know what? I think I understand you a lot better now. Do not contact me."

She opened the door and was unprepared when Pete yanked her by the back of her shirt. Once he had maneuvered the door shut, he painfully wrapped his fingers around her wrist. Now fuming, Sam glared at him.

"What do you think you are doing?"

He matched her fierce look, "I am not letting you make another mistake. I love you."

"No, Pete. You love who you _think_ is me. Now I remember why we broke up. You always did have your own distorted version of reality."

He dragged her by the arm into the living room and then abruptly released her so that she fell onto the couch, while he remained standing over her.

"And you never did know what was good for you. I saw the way he hurt you. It was inevitable, you know. Who knows, you may have gotten off lucky. Considering his last family was broken apart when he murdered his kid."

Sam had had enough and was steaming with rage. She hadn't wanted to hurt Pete before, but he was leaving her no choice. Practically leaping to her feet, Sam's ice blue eyes stared him down.

"You shouldn't talk about things you know nothing about, Detective. I am leaving now and if you try to stop me, I will not hesitate to break your neck- housewife or not. Do I make myself clear?"

Pete opened his mouth to protest but she shook her head determinedly at him. He only nodded as she traveled the short distance to his apartment door. He just couldn't help himself, though, "You won't be happy; he will only hurt you again. It is in his nature."

Pausing only for a moment, she replied, "That is where you are wrong. I learn from my mistakes. No man has ever hurt me twice and gotten away with it, and you, Pete Shanahan, were a mistake."


End file.
